Went into work on Friday morning extra early. I wanted to get out of town before the traffic got bad. I got to go out into the field twice at work, and it was awesome. I got to see an initial site survey, the first meeting with a client/customer (or their contractors) and evaluate their needs and the site itself. I am hoping I will get to do more of this once I'm fully trained in. I can do computer work if needed but preferably I want to be able to go do this sort of stuff also, it's the exciting part of the job in my opinion.
I left work and drove up to the cities at 2:30. Traffic wasn't too horrible, I got home in just under 2 hours. Went to a therapy appointment. Didn't really get much progress. There's a lot of things I want to say but I'm too afraid to say them because sometimes I don't know if what I'm thinking/feeling is actually how I feel or if it's influenced by my depression and anxiety. There's a lot of big decisions to be made and they aren't easy ones. But I guess I do know that things just can't keep going the way they are. I was hoping therapy would help with that but I really don't feel like it does anything at this point.
Saturday we started loading the trailer with stuff. Most of it was from the garage. The majority of it was all Jamie's stuff. So that was sort of frustrating, I mean I know it all has to get moved eventually but I don't know it just irked me to be bringing down a load of pretty much all his junk that was sitting in storage after he moved out of his old house and then just sat in storage in our garage. I purposefully separated my stuff and his stuff in the new garage just to give him a visual of how much more shit he has than I do when he comes down on Tuesday with Zane.
Went to a baby shower on Saturday which was really nice. Great people, good beer, and we got rid of a bunch of diapers in sizes that Zane has grown out of already, haha! After that I went over to Matt's for a fire and some much needed friend time. Can't believe how nice the weather has been, we are having bonfires in mid November!!! Hope it stays this way for the rest of the month while we are still moving.
Today (Sunday) has been pretty hectic. Zane started getting a cold the end of this week and Saturday night was by far the worst. His cough kept walking him up at night. We took him to the urgent care and it's nothing serious, so that's good. Hope he starts feeling better soon.
After we got back from the urgent care place, we were scrambling to get stuff packed and ready to go. I needed to be on time for my parents, because I didn't want to get a lecture about being late. So I get down there, and my parents don't show up until 50 minutes after they told me to be there. I was pretty pissed. It was because of my sister, no real surprise there. But then my dad throws a fit about the trailer lights not working. He was being an asshole so when they left I was like, "Thanks for everything but I think we'll just get a uhaul for the rest of it." The last thing I need in my life is more stress and that just really hit a sore spot tonight. It brought up my fears about moving closer to my family. So I had a pretty bad anxiety attack after that. I wanted to go to a bar for a drink but I just called Jamie, he helped me get through the anxiety attack and then I got to Lissa's and...FINALLY GOT INTERNET ON MY COMPUTER!!! So now I can make a hail mary attempt to work on NaNoWriMo, in addition to this blog, in addition to moving, in addition to making a baby blanket for Zane...yeah I've got a lot on my plate right now.
Food wise I can't even really tell you what these few days were like. There was a lot of fast food. There was excess booze over the weekend. Hopefully I can start things off on a better foot for the beginning of week two. I plan to make some kind of soup or stew, since a coworker of mine randomly gave me a brand new crock pot on Friday (seriously, totally random, but hey, free crock pot!). I have lots of potatoes and onions and sweet potatoes to use so I'll probably look up some recipes on my breaks tomorrow. I'm going to try to not eat out more than twice this week. We shall see how that goes!
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